You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
