You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
