I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
