my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
