I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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