Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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