I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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