im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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