How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
