Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
