My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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