he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
