Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
