i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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