i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
