Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
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