Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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