What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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