id be glad to
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
