You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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