it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
