# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize