He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
