i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
