i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He? As in you personified your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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