so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I am naked and annoyed.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
