just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
