hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
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We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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