I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
