Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
