apparently the secret to your success is patron
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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