Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I need a burrito and a hug.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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