I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize
