some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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