Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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