you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
