Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
