Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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