I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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