walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Walk of Shame today included voting.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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