I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
