Swine flu. Run for my life!
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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