And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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