Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
