I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
