my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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