I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
