Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
