great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
