Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
