i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Everyone says I win the strip club
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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