i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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