apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
