Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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