Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
