remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
