So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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