This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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