If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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