sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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