so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
