I want to have your abortion
someone owes me an orgasm
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
