remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
