All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
