I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
