i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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