but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
