whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
