How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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