She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
