How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
