I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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